


pieces

by Jules1398



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Car Accidents, Character Death, Coma, Hospitals, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 21:20:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15615270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jules1398/pseuds/Jules1398
Summary: Isak wakes up in a hospital the day after Eva's party. The doctor tells him that was six years ago.





	pieces

**Author's Note:**

> yeehaw skam reverse bang time  
> [check out the event tumblr](http://skambigbang.tumblr.com/)  
> [check me out on tumblr](http://transjonas.tumblr.com/)  
> [marta](http://mfrov95.tumblr.com/) created the amazing art that inspired this.  
> Spoilery warnings in endnotes.

Isak went to sleep as soon as Jonas dropped him back off at the kollektiv but he didn’t wake up in his own bed. Instead, he woke up with an IV in his wrist and a doctor staring over him, accompanied by Jonas.

“What the fuck?” he mumbled. “Did I have a heart attack in my sleep or something.”

“I’ll call his sister and parents,” Jonas offered to the doctor. “I think they’d like to know that he’s awake.”

“Please don’t,” Isak replied because, what the hell? Jonas knew that he didn’t talk to them. Especially not his mom.

“Isak, do you remember anything from the accident?” the doctor asked in a soft voice.

He furrowed his eyebrows. “What accident?”

“You-” Jonas started, but the doctor glared at him and he stopped speaking.

“Isak, I’m going to need to tell me your full name, your birthday, your parents’ names, and how old you are,” the doctor requested. Jonas left the room, with his phone in hand.

“Why?” he asked. “Look, I feel perfectly normal, other than being a bit groggy, but that’s not all too unusual for me these days.”

“If nothing’s wrong, then doing it shouldn’t be a problem, right?” the doctor reasoned.

“I called them. They’re coming,” Jonas informed the doctor as he walked back into the room.

Isak groaned. “Jonas, I don’t want them to come.”

“Please, tell me what I asked of you,” the doctor insisted.

“Fine,”  he sighed, even though it was a waste of time. “My full name is Isak Valtersen. I was born on June 21st, 1999. My parents are Marianne and Terje. I’m 17.”

Jonas’ eyebrows shot up and he stared at the doctor in alarm. “Holy fucking sh-”

“What is the last thing you remember?” asked the doctor.

“Going to bed,” he replied. “I was at Eva’s party and then it got busted by the cops and Jonas took me home on his bike. Then I went to bed and fell right asleep. Oh shit! The w-”

He stopped himself, not wanting his doctor to know that he left weed at his friend’s house. Though, if he did blood tests, he probably already knew.

Jonas shook his head, looking distraught. “Dr. Petersen, I can’t-”

“Jonas, please step outside for a moment,” the doctor asked nicely. “I need to talk to Isak then I’ll join you in the hall and we can have a chat.”

With a hesitant nod, Jonas walked out of the room. The doctor turned back to Isak.

“Isak, I have some unfortunate news to share with you. I don’t want you to get overwhelmed, but it’s important that you know this,” Dr. Petersen said softly.

He nodded. “Please, tell me.”

“You’ve been in a coma for three months,” the doctor informed him. “And, Isak, you aren’t 17.”

“Three months wouldn’t push me to 18,” Isak pointed out.

The doctor sighed. “You’re 23, Isak.”

Isak blinked. “Wait, what?”

“You seem to be suffering from some sort of amnesia,” the doctor explained. “We’ve been scanning your brain activity and everything seems fine, so I think I’m going to have to get a psychologist in here to help you. It’s likely that the memory loss is due to your traumatic experience, so I think it’s important for you to remember what happened on your own, as to avoid overwhelming yourself and making things worse.”

“How could things get worse?” Isak asked in a panicked voice. What the fuck could have possibly happened where there could be something worse than losing six years of his fucking life?

“I need to talk to Jonas and get a therapist in here to speak with you,” Dr. Petersen told him.

“I don’t want to talk to a therapist,” he replied in a quick voice. “I’m not crazy. I just forgot some stuff.”

“You aren’t crazy, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t talk to somebody about this,” the doctor reasoned before walking out the door.

Isak considered ripping out his IV and making a break for it, but when he tried to sit up, he immediately collapsed back onto the bed. He wasn’t well yet, so he needed the hospital. That didn’t mean that he had to say anything to the shrink.

* * *

A therapist did come and Isak didn’t say much to her, but it didn’t matter. She basically said the same thing as Dr. Petersen. He was suffering from trauma and apparently his brain was trying to protect him from whatever happened. He had to figure out what it was on his own and it would happen, it just was going to take some time. She offered more therapy sessions, but he refused. He could do this on his own.

He just wanted someone to tell him anyway, but when his friends and family visited, they kept their mouths shut. Whatever it was, he could take it. He wasn’t fucking fragile.

After a few days, he got discharged. Apparently going back to his apartment and living alone was a bad idea, so he got sent to live with Sana and her mysterious husband, Yousef. He would have preferred to live with Jonas, but apparently he and Eva were engaged with a kid and there just wasn’t enough room between their family and the wedding planning.

Isak just wanted to get better fast. It was going to be awkward as hell living with them, seeing as he only knew Sana through Eva and he didn’t know Yousef at all.

It was Yousef who picked him up. He had big brown eyes and somewhat wavy short black hair. Sana had snatched a good one, not that Isak was into guys that way. At least, he didn’t want to think that he was.

“Hey, Isak. I’m Yousef,” Yousef greeted like an old friend. There was a hint of sadness in his voice. Maybe they were close.

“Hello,” he replied teetering from foot to foot. “Where’s Sana?”

“She’s shadowing at the hospital, since she’s a med student,” he explained. “She’ll be home later tonight.”

Isak nodded and followed Yousef to his car, which was a fairly standard minivan. There were no car seats, so they probably didn’t have any kids yet. Isak wondered if he could drive now, as terrifying as that sounded.

“How long have we known each other?” Isak asked Yousef after buckling into the car.

Yousef thought for a moment before answering. “I think the first time we actually spoke to one another was at Eva’s 18th birthday party.”

“So through Sana?” he inferred.

The other man shrugged. “I mean, sort of, yeah. It’s kind of complicated but…” he trailed off.

“You can’t tell me,” he sighed. “It must be something important.”

“Don’t worry about it too much. You’ll remember in time,” Yousef told him. “Then we can talk more about it if you want to.”

“Are me and Sana close or something?” he asked. “I was surprised to hear that she offered to have me stay at hers after all of this.”

Yousef frowned. “I don’t know when you two became good friends, but it was a while before I met you. Must’ve been shortly after your memories stopped.”

“Huh,” Isak replied, a bit dumbfounded. He and Sana seemed like total opposites. “How did we become friends?”

“I’m not sure,” he answered. “You’re going to have to ask her that.”

“Screw what the doctors said. Can you please just tell me what happened?” he asked, knowing that there was probably no point.

He shook his head. “Sorry, Isak.”

“It’s fine,” Isak sighed. “I mean, you’re just doing what they told you to. Thanks for offering to babysit me.”

“Even if you don’t know it, we’re friends,” Yousef replied. “I’m happy to help with your recovery. We thought we lost you, but you’re okay now.”

Isak half-smiled. “Well, it might be a bit of an adventure. I have six entire years to get back.”

* * *

When they got to the house, Yousef showed Isak to the guest room. There were a few bags of stuff sitting on the bed, which was presumably his.

Yousef left him while he went to cook dinner and Isak wandered toward the bags, unzipping one to examine its contents.

The first one was just full of clothes. He supposed most of them probably were. There was an empty dresser in the room, so he shoved his clothes into various drawers, not bothering to fold anything.

He was disappointed to find a disturbing lack of snapbacks, but he supposed he was an adult now and who even knew if they were still in style.

One thing caught his eye. It was a wristband, one of those plastic ones they give out at charity runs, and it was in every color of the rainbow. In black letters there were two words clearly printed: Oslo Pride.

Isak dropped the wristband like it was on fire and backed away. Surely this was his. Or maybe it was. Maybe he had gone to pride to support Eskild or something. Isak wasn’t gay. That much couldn’t change in six years.

He heard the door open and assumed Sana was home, which gave him an excuse to leave the wristband and to hopefully stop thinking about it.

Sans gave him one look and raised an eyebrow. “Did Jonas pack you the wrong stuff or something.”

Yousef rushed out. “Are you remembering?!” he asked with alarm.

Isak put on his best fake smile. “It’s nothing. I just think Jonas might have packed me something that wasn’t mine. Eskild must have left it at my apartment or something.”

The two of them shared a look, but didn’t ask him to elaborate.

“Dinner is ready,” Yousef said instead.

Sana smiled. “Fantastic. I’m starving. Isak?”

“Me too,” he mumbled following them into the kitchen.

Something on the fridge caught his eye. “Is that an ultrasound?” he asked.

“Two and a half months,” Sana replied. “Which means that you have six and a half to get your memories back.”

“What if I can’t?” he asked, turning back toward her.

“We’ll throw you back in your messy apartment,” she replied, sitting down at the table and serving herself. “Or maybe you could live with your parents in Lillehammer.”

“Are they back together?” he asked as he piled food onto his plate. “Last I remember she was sick and he lived on the other side of the city.”

“I think so,” Sana replied. “You never really liked to talk about them with me.”

He nodded. “I mean, I probably didn’t like to talk about them in general.”

“Yeah, we mostly just talk about science and our friends,” she informed him. “We had biology together at Nissen. It all kind of started with the weed you hid at Eva’s party.”

“How did you know about that?” he asked. “I hid it so well!”

She snorted. “I forgot how stupid you were at 17. But, then again, not much has changed since.”

He crossed his arms. “Excuse me, I am perfectly intelligent.”

Sana smirked. “Well, how would you know that?”

Isak made the grumpiest face possible and then returned to his food. 

* * *

Everything seemed normal, well as normal as it could seem, until the next morning. Sana and Yousef had to leave for school and work, respectively, so Isak was all alone in the house when he woke up.

Isak wandered into the bathroom to brush his teeth so that he could eat breakfast and get ready for the day, no matter what it would bring.

He grabbed the toothbrush that they had gifted him and put some toothpaste on it and began brushing, just like he always did. 

After spitting in the sink, Isak looked up at the mirror and didn’t find his own reflection. Instead, there were two bright blue eyes peering back at him, thick eyebrows evident above.

Clambering back, Isak blinked a few times and rubbed his eyes. He looked at the mirror again, and everything was normal. Maybe his brain was still recovering. Or maybe, just maybe, the eyes meant something. Perhaps they could be the key to unlocking his past.

Isak ran back to the bedroom and grabbed the cheap phone they had gotten him off the nightstand, quickly dialing Jonas’ number.

Jonas didn’t pick up. He was probably at work doing whatever it is he did. He hadn’t kept it a secret from Isak. He had just forgotten what his friend told him among everything else that had been happening.

He scrolled down to look for Mahdi’s number. Magnus wasn’t programmed into the phone because Jonas was convinced he’d tell Isak everything at the drop of a hat and, well, it was probably a good call.

Isak found his friend’s number and hit dial.

“Hello?” his friend answered, seemingly confused. Jonas must not have sent his number out to the others.

“Hi, it’s Isak,” he replied.

“Oh shit! How are you doing?” Mahdi asked. “I visited you when you were asleep, but I just can’t get the time off work to travel down to Oslo right now.”

“Physically, I’m fine,” he replied. “But I don’t remember shit, as I’m sure you’ve heard.”

“Yeah, that sucks, bro,” Mahdi said sympathetically. “When you do remember, it’d be super cool if you could come up and hang at my place for a bit.”

“Why wait until then?” asked Isak. “Are we lovers in the night or something?”

Mahdi snorted. “You wish, bro. I just don’t want you stressed with travel while you’re still in the healing process.”

“Maybe it would be good for me,” he sighed.

“Is something up?” Madhi asked. “Well, something besides the obvious.”

“I think I’m hallucinating or something,” Isak confessed, rubbing his temple. “That’s why I called. I tried Jonas first but he must be at work.”

“I mean, I am too, but it can wait,” Mahdi said. “Tell me about your hallucination. I’m not a doctor or anything, but I’m still all ears.”

“I looked in the mirror and for a split second, I swear I could see this weird pair of eyes,” he told his friend. “But they weren’t my own. They were bright blue.”

“That’s interesting,” Mahdi said in a monotone voice, which was probably intentional. “I mean, I’m no expert, but it might be your memory trying to come back. Maybe if you talk to a therapist about it-”

“No fucking way,” Isak interjected. “I don’t need therapy. My head isn’t fucked like my mom’s is.”

“Then I guess you just continue on. Try to remember on your own,” Mahdi advised. “But the second something starts hurting, you better drag your ass to the doctor.”

“Okay. If I’m in physical pain, I’ll get into the ER or something,” Isak promised his friend.

“Alright, I have to get back to work,” Mahdi told him. “It was really nice talking to you, Isak.”

“It was good talking to you too, bro,” he replied. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

After the call ended, Isak walked back into the bathroom, determined to remember something, but the blue eyes were not staring back at him.

* * *

It was another week before he saw the eyes again. He had mentioned it to Jonas and Sana, but their response was basically the same as Mahdi’s. If he didn’t see them, there was nothing to worry about anyway.

After begging him for days, Eva had finally convinced him to go shopping with her and her eight month-old son, Aleks.

They were in some clothing store that Isak had never been to, as most of his clothes were either purchased by his mother or were bought second-hand due to his budget after moving in with Eskild and Linn.

“Can I afford this?” he asked Eva.

She nodded. “More than I can, probably. Between my job and Jonas’ money isn’t an issue, but this ball of cuteness sucks it out of us. I’m still gonna shop while I’m on maternity leave, though”

“Are you sure I need new clothes?” he asked. “I mean, I’m just going to dress like a teenager and then it’ll all be kind of pointless when my memory is back.”

“First of all, you already dress like a fucking teenager,” she said, not caring that she was swearing in front of her infant son. “And second of all, the only difference is that you’re going to dress more like you’re straight.”

Her eyes widened and she slapped her hand over her mouth.

“I’m out?” he asked slowly, eyes wide. “I’m not even totally comfortable with being gay yet but... “ he trailed off. “Is this why everyone was being so secretive?”

“We’re not being completely truthful because that’s what the doctors told us to do,” she assured him. “Your sexuality was only part of that but, well, if it makes you feel better, I kind of already knew before your memory loss.”

“How?” he asked. “I was so discreet!”

She raised an eyebrow. “Discreet? Dude, I saw how you used to look at Jonas. It’s a miracle that he didn’t realize before I did.”

“Look, I’m sorry,” he started, feeling guilty for everything he did during their first year at Nissen.

She waved him off. “I know you’re still 17, but I’m all grown up now. Your snakelike actions are in the past and they proved futile anyway. I mean, I got the guy anyway.”

“I’m over him,” he assured her. “I won’t try to get in between the two of you.”

Eva smiled. “Isak, literally don’t worry about it. You couldn’t steal Jonas from me if you tried. After all, we do have a baby. A baby that’s growing too fast, which is the real reason we’re here. Sorry if you were just planning on expanding your wardrobe.”

“Yeah, I’m fine with shopping for baby clothes,” he assured her.

She pushed the stroller toward the baby section and he followed behind, thumbing through the clothes with her.

“What about this?” he asked, holding up a fuzzy onesie with bear ears.

“I’m willing to bet that’s more expensive than it should be,” she said after briefly glancing at it. “I’m not spending extra money to dress my child like a furry.”

He laughed and put it back. Eva smiled as she tossed a green onesie in the basket and picked up one with light blue and white stripes.

Eva frowned. “Isak, could you do me a favor and ask if they have this in a size bigger?”

He nodded and she handed him the onesie. “Thanks a million. We’ll be over by the shoes when you get back.”

Isak went to find an employee, but stopped when he was next to one of those columns with mirrors on it. The eyes were there, staring back at him. He took a little step back, but kept trying to study them. It felt like something was prodding at his brain, but he couldn’t quite reach in and pull the memory out.

“Isak,” Eva said softly, gingerly setting a hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“There are eyes,” he muttered, not looking away from the mirror. If he did, he might lose sight of the eyes and a chance at truly remembering. “Blue eyes. In the mirror.”

“Look at me,” Eva requested, forcibly turning his head away from the mirror so they were looking at one another. “There’s nothing there. Do I need to take you to the doctor?”

He shook his head. “I think my mind is just trying to tell me something. So that I can remember.”

She nodded. “Okay, well we are going to ask a clerk together and then check out and go home. I don’t want to risk your health, mental or physical.”

“But what about his shoes?” Isak asked.

“I can come back later,” she assured him. “We can just go chill at mine this afternoon, alright?”

“Okay,” he said. “Relaxing at your place sounds nice.”

“You can give me input on flower arrangements. Three hopeless heads are better than one,” she said cheerily.

“Did you ask Vilde?” he wondered aloud. “I feel like that’s something she would be good at.”

“She’s out of town,” Eva replied. “Trust me, if she was home, the wedding would be planned already.”

Eva spotted a clerk and walked toward him. He was cute, with dirty blond hair and big brown eyes.

“You should flirt with him,” she whispered to Isak.

He shook his head. “One step at a time, Eva. I just found out I was an out gay guy like fifteen minutes ago.”

She nodded in understanding and proceeded to ask the clerk about the onesie. Isak smiled. He was happy to have good friends by his side, even when he couldn’t remember years of their lives.

* * *

After a few weeks, Isak finally convinced Jonas to let him go back to his apartment. Apparently, his friends had gone ahead and cleared some stuff out to prevent him immediately remembering stuff in an unnatural way, but Isak still hoped that just being there would jog his memory.

Spoiler alert: it didn’t. Unless you counted hallucinating those same fucking eyes more often in his bathroom mirror, everything was the same.

He had to have a job, based on his bank account. He needed to remember so that he could go back and start making money again or he wouldn’t have an apartment for much longer, but all of his friends were bastards that wouldn’t tell him a thing. Even Magnus had been silent when he visited.

Every day was pretty much the same. He didn’t do much while all his friends were at work or school and, in the evening, somebody would inevitably come over to check on him. God, it had been weeks. They had to sick of him by now.

He pushed himself out of bed, even though there wasn’t much of a point in getting up now. All he was going to do all day was catch up on movies that he had probably seen before and there was no good reason he couldn’t do that on his laptop in bed, but still, he decided to get up like it was a normal morning from before his coma.

After brushing his teeth like usual, he looked into the mirror. The eyes were there. They were always in the mirrors at home. He had even caught sight of them on his stainless steel fridge once.

“Who the fuck are you?” he asked, knowing that there was nobody there. He wasn’t going to get a response.

“Why are you torturing me?” was his next question. “I just want to remember, so leave me alone and let that fucking happen.”

The eyes didn’t respond. They didn’t even blink. They just stared back at him, a vague reminder of a memory that he couldn’t quite get his hands on.

Isak clenched his fist and punched the mirror with all his might, sending cracks through the glass.

The eyes didn’t leave. Instead, they were all over, in each shard of the mirror. He staggered backward, knuckles bleeding at his side. It looked familiar. Too familiar. And it hurt like hell.

A mirror. Blue eyes. A cracked mirror. Blue eyes in the cracked mirror. A cracked car mirror, eyes reflecting off of it. Why was the car mirror cracked?

There was an accident. Ice in the road and then spinning, spinning, spinning, until the car rammed into a tree going too fast. Way too fast. There was blood. There was so much blood, and not just his own.

Isak was in the passenger seat, watching it all happen. Hearing his screaming. Whose screaming? The driver’s. But who was the driver?

Backing into the wall, Isak slid down onto the floor, tears streaming down his face as his heart pinched tightly in his chest and he dry heaved on the ground. He knew what the secret that everyone had been protecting him from was. He knew who the person was that his own brain had been trying to make him forget.

_ Even. _

**Author's Note:**

> A character dies but if he's never in the fic, is it really major character death???


End file.
